So I tried fixing it doing some updates, and lo and behold, nothing worked.
Then on top of that, my virtual machine that I was using for my DS730 class decided to go belly up and didn't come back after 2 reboots.
Not having a good day.
So, now I'm going to document the installation of my workstation using a blog post so I have some documentation to fall back onto when things go haywire again. It looks like I'm going to reinstall Ubuntu again.
Then I need to hope that rebooting the virtual machine one last time will work.